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| 08:09pm 15/07/2007 |
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soooo, figured id let you all know whats happenin
i got orders to italy, accepted them.
then declined them, after they told me i would have to extend my enlistment for another year and a half.
bought a new car. (04 Jetta GLI)
started thinking about my future.
still dont know much.
lata gangstaz |
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| 09:53pm 13/05/2007 |
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i stare at the sun
soon im completely blinded
you are my new eyes |
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| My last couple evenings fruit... haikus |
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| 04:36pm 11/05/2007 |
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thought makes me puke blood
i never knew you could see
with a body bag
pavement tastes like silk
when they feed it to you here
you wont crave anymore
(about being back in the states again after Iraq)
im not a hero
i ran across the whole world
just to find im lost
(about my stance on the war, who knows whats right and wrong? i dont think its that simple)
the sky is not blue
you have to open your eyes
we will all drown here
(goes hand in hand with the one above it, nothing is always what it looks like)
eyes mimic star light
only, these stars are in reach
i could stare all night
(about a beautfil girl)
make this image clear
he has been bleeding for days
and she left the knife
(watching a friend suffer)
bloodlust consumes me
i never wanted your life
this is history
(if i was a zombie)
theres a couple more, but they arent being shared...haha |
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| I'm making $2000 a month to babysit |
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| 01:18pm 08/11/2006 |
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Thats pretty much what I'm doing. Two nights ago, one of the detainees (who works closely with us, because he speaks very good english) recieved a death threat from about 20 people. I was assigned to the closest tower to him, during the time the hit was supposed to happen. Let me tell you what. After an hour of holding your gun at ready-low, and nothing happening, your fingers go numb. After that, the gun starts to feel heavy. But I couldn't put it down, because I knew the guy sitting at the corner of his caravan, washing his laundry, was really watching me. Waiting for me to go inside the tower to get a drink, or grab a snack. I knew this because, he washed the same clothes 7 times in a row. And there were about 13 other guys right on the other side of the building, just waiting for him to say I wasn't looking. A lot of the guys were wearing their issued winter jackets, probably more than one too. The more jackets they wear, the less rubber bullets will hurt them. Sometime they will use matresses, but thats only when theres a big riot. After 3 and a half hours of watching the same guy watching me, waiting for me to look away, or get distracted by something, my relief came. I was exhausted.
Babysitting sucks. |
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| Iraq, my point of view |
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| 12:54pm 14/10/2006 |
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I've been here for 3 months or something. I've met about 50 different Iraqis, and actaully got to spend time with them. People say this war is all about oil, and that the U.S.A is here for no good reason. When I hear that, I want to introduce the friends I've made to all those people, so they can hear first hand, how these people lived in fear that because of thier religion, they would be treated like dirt, and maybe even killed for speaking out. Theres two types of Iraqi people that don't want us here. They are called the Takferi, and the Wahavi. These are those religious extremists you hear about. I've seen them kill each other, and then go and pray as if nothing happened. I'm 19 years old, and I've seen a human being kill another. This country is a mess. I don't even know what to say to get you to begin to understand, you'd have to witness it for yourself. I know it is good that we are here, but I think it could have been done differently. I don't know how, or even where to begin, but I do know that most of these people are happy we are here. Many days, an ICO (Iraqi Corrections Officer, most of the friends I've made) will show me the old Iraqi money, point to Saddam's picture on it, and ask me if I kno who it is. I'll laugh and say "Yea thats Saddam" then they will say "Saddam, moo zien, moo zien" that means Saddam, not good, not good. A lot of these guys are just a few years older than me, 22 or so, all the way to 40. They all come from the closest city, called Basrah. I can see it from my tower most nights, but only the lights. Its like 40 miles away. They always tell me they want to bring me to Basrah to meet thier family and stuff, I'd love to, but were not allowed to leave the base, unless we're on a convoy. Enough of this gloomy stuff,
I'm learning arabic from a bunch of these guys, I can already read and write a lot of easy words, and I can carry on a basic greeting type conversation..How are you? Good? Hows your wife? stuff like that. This language is tough man! If I get really good at it, I can get and extra $750 in my paycheck for knowing a second language. SWEEEEEET.
well, I'm really hungry, and my time is almost up on the computer. Lata |
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| Looooooong time since one of these.... |
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| 11:14pm 05/07/2006 |
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Decided I'm going to keep a journal of my first real life hurtle.
June 26th I was told I would be deploying to Iraq with GOLF Team, and that I would be leaving in the next two weeks. Then the departure turned into the 15th a week later, and that date is solid now. I'm going to be at an Army camp called Camp Bucca (Boo-Ka). Its a prison camp where they keep some of those baddies you hear about on they news. Its located on the South Eastern side or Iraq, near Kuwait. Its not really the worst part of Iraq, but Bucca does get mortar fire semi-often. We're not allowed to sleep or operate in tents, only hardened structures. Everyone asks if I'm scared, and what I'm going to be doing once im out there. Yea, I am scared. Not a lot, but I'm only 19 years old. I joined the military 9 months ago, thinking I would be a Police Officer. Little did I know, the Air Force practically made my career field basically into the closest thing to infantry they could get, because the Air Force doesn't have infantry. I'm ok with that though. Just a little scared. Anxious.
The hardest part about all of this, by far, is the fact that I left some of my best friends when I flew to San Antonio, TX, 9 months ago. That was hard, but I got over it, and made new friends. 6 months after that, I had to part ways with them too. And now, I have to leave my most recent friends for 8 months. I'm sure I'll meet some new people once I'm in-theatre, but its always awkward at first,ya kno? Making new friends.
I'm going to miss Christmas this year. And yea, I really am going to miss it. My family will be close to 10,000 miles away. My 20th birthday is 2 months later, and I will also be spending that in a desert environment, probably with 70+ lbs of gear on. In 100+ degree weather. Waiting for bad guys to try and shoot, or mortar all my sleeping friends. That makes me scared too. Knowing theres people just waiting to kill me. People who are hell-bent on catching a soldier off guard, and putting a nice pink mist on the wall hes standing next to. I for one, would rather not have to worry about my brains becoming the next color on the wall. I didn't have to worry about this a year ago.
The upside to all of this, is I'm going to made a nice amount of money, withh combat pay allowences and all. Should be close to 11,000 dollars, if I save it all up. I think I'll spend a few thousand on my car, as well as pay it off. Both of them. I'd also like to buy a motorcyle, and begin saving up for a house, and recording studio. Who knows. I need to finish some 25 credits worth of classes to get finish up my associates in CrimJ. After that comes buisness management, and some other stuff.
Sleepy, I zero'd out my M4 Carbine, and shot my Remmington M870 pump shotty today. I'll update again once I get to my first stop in my 8 month adventure.
pushing the law again |
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| 11:30pm 23/01/2005 |
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P.S.
Fuck you.
I needed to say that. |
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| BILLY. |
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| 09:47pm 08/11/2004 |
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mood:  geeky
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Wow! Hot Cross rocked the house. (So did all the other bands!) But what rocked the most, was talkign with Billy for like a half an hour straight. He remembered me from when I e-mailed him about Saetia lyrics (because we want to cover a song), and it was awesome. I got him to sign a cd (after having to break into kezias van to get it) and I picked up a zip-up. Yhis thing is never coming off (just like my ninja suit)
Hehe :):):):) |
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| Loved ones tell stories about me...but I already know what its like to die. |
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| 12:49am 23/09/2004 |
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"It's not you...
It's just the fact that lives come together,
they fade apart...
It's just the fact that lives come together,
they fade apart.
As shadows are cast, yet numbed by the light,
these are our beings..."
This is what you told me,
but I remember yesterday,
and I believe and I feel and I want,
and empty is not friendly...
Cracked mortar --
Lies --
and pure remnants of an unsure bond.
Perhaps we trust too much in this invisible thread to move on...
Flowers only live so long,
when they grow out of three small words.
"I only speak when spoken to;
I thought you knew this,
and I am sorry."
Next time I will be careful what I wish for,
Next time I will be careful what I wish for. |
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| 12:20am 03/08/2004 |
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ok, so i've been thinking about it, and all my entries starting now will be private... |
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| 12:31am 02/08/2004 |
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i dont really like livejournal very much. i doubt i'll be writing in here. at all. |
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| 10:47pm 28/07/2004 |
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mood:  blank
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I will gladly invite bullets to the head, i feel like i need to explode.
in other news, i got an "OK" for the denisport trip. Horraay. |
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| 02:26pm 27/07/2004 |
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mood:  happy
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Found a song I never heard before by Saetia, its called closed hands. I'm pumped.
I love Saetia. MMMmmmmmMMMMmmmmmmmm. |
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| 10:46am 22/07/2004 |
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mood:  bouncy
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So, mom and dad and I decided to send me back to St. Joe. Its going to be tough, because I really hate some of the idiot teachers there. But maybe this year will be different? I am having Mr. Anil again, and he was pretty bad-ass freshman year. And I'm taking a few classes that I think I will actaully enjoy...
Gasp! It's Kez now. Shawn's naked&in the shower, so I'm taking over for a bit. And don't worry, I promise I won't read any private entries. :X
I think I may make this a private update, so that only YOU can read it. We're going to go to New Hampshire t'night! So exciting. I can't wait to spend the next few days with my favorite family. Perhaps you and I could go on walks&stuff? That way we could have alooooone time. :wink:
Mmph. The phone just rang! It was fo' yo' Momma. Teehee.
Mer, I 'unno why, but I just thought of Ali&Phil. Not that I ever would, but if by some chance in hell I ever cheated on you? Especially to that extent? PROMISE me that you'd drop us. Surriously. Just looking at it from an unrelated point of view kind of sickens me, and I know that I look at Ali in a different light now. Shock and disappointment, really. But yeah. You'd definitely have to break up with me if that ever occurred. I feel bad for Phil, it's obvious that he likes her a lot. I don't understand how he could still stand to be with her though. . .just knowing that her body had been with someone else. :Shudder: Creeps me out just thinkin' about it. I want to talk to him about it. I don't want Phil to fall into an unhealthy relationship. I think he is just really lonely, and knows that Ali is all he's really got. Sigh.
Oh no! Your shower is done. I have to run away now. I love youuuuuuuu. (: |
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| 12:54am 16/07/2004 |
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Only God Judges Me |
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| 10:39pm 06/07/2004 |
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Im in Hollywood, and all I can think about is how much I miss Kez. I saw Lance Bass last night tho, that was cool. But whats cooler, is that tomorow Kez and I will be together for 6 months. I love her, soooo much. She doesn't know how much I love her, but I think she knows its a lot. time to go! byebybye |
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